Even Rihanna couldn't shine in this much blue | ALSO ON ABS-CBN
The new “Smurfs” movie opens with Papa Smurf, voiced with gruff warmth by John Goodman, spinning tracks as the entire Smurf Village breaks into a choreographed dance number. It wasn’t perfect, but for a film so aggressively marketed as a major musical comeback vehicle for Rihanna, it made me think I might actually be in for a decent, maybe even charming, musical cartoon feature. Spoiler: I was not.
The plot, in its bare bones, follows a familiar quest: When evil wizards Gargamel and his brother Razamel mysteriously abduct Papa Smurf, Smurfette leads the remaining Smurfs on a perilous mission into the real world to save him. Their journey, aided by new allies, supposedly culminates in the Smurfs discovering their destiny to save the universe. Yet, what unfolds on screen isn’t a magical odyssey. It’s a dispiriting exercise in déjà vu, a film that feels less like a creative endeavor and more like a product, or perhaps a hapless victim, of repetitions handled with startling ineptitude.
Stuck on repeat
The problems in “Smurfs” aren’t one-offs. They repeat across the film and point to deeper, more serious lapses in judgment.
First, the Rihanna Riddle. Fans, myself included, have clamored for Rihanna’s proper musical return for years. So, when “Friend of Mine” was heralded as the second single from the “Smurfs” soundtrack, anticipation skyrocketed. The track, however, proved an astonishing letdown as it leans so heavily on a generic dance beat that Rihanna’s iconic vocals are barely audible. It is reduced to a couple of lines that repeat ad nauseam. It’s no wonder the official lyric video on YouTube is awash with wry comments like “Releasing a lyric video for this is crazy” and “Go on girl, give us nothing.” It wasn’t so much a musical moment as it was a marketing stunt, one that only made the eventual disappointment hit harder.
This leads directly to The Celebrity Voice Casting Conundrum. The continued trend of stuffing animated features with Hollywood A-listers, regardless of their vocal aptitude, remains a perplexing strategy. While I hold no inherent objection to big names if they genuinely suit the role, especially when paired with the kind of vocal excellence seen in critically acclaimed performances like Robin Williams in “Aladdin” or Toni Collette in “Mary and Max,” “Smurfs” highlights the pitfalls.
Rihanna as Smurfette is a prime example. Her vocal performance simply doesn’t meld with the character’s established charm or the film’s whimsical tone. It’s distracting — the voice is so unmistakably hers that it pulls you out of the story. The pervasive marketing slogan – “Rihanna is Smurfette” and “featuring new music by Rihanna” – exposes the studio’s reliance on star power over genuine character portrayal. It’s part of an exasperating cycle where legitimate voice actors, with their immense skill and training, are often sidelined in favor of a big name, regardless of fit.
Finally, and perhaps most frustratingly, we have The Franchise Fatigue. After several Smurfs outings, you’d expect a fresh narrative or a deeper dive into the world it’s already built. Instead, the film launches into yet another dimension-hopping escapade, so absurdly overdone it almost feels like the Smurfs are gunning for Doctor Strange’s job. This, despite the previous installment actually pushing into imaginative new territory back in 2017. To make things worse, the central plot revolves around No Name Smurf trying to discover what makes him unique, a choice that feels almost too on-the-nose. Like the character, the film is desperate to find a sense of magic or meaning, yet never manages to justify its own existence.
To make things worse, the central plot supposedly revolves around No Name Smurf’s journey to discover what makes him special, but that thread quickly gets buried beneath a chaotic rescue mission after Papa Smurf is abducted. The emotional core is dimmed, if not outright forgotten, as the film spirals into convoluted set pieces. So, when No Name finally grasps his own uniqueness, the film barely pauses to notice. In the rush of color and chaos, the film blurs its emotional peak into the noise, leaving what should be a cathartic moment feeling oddly small.
It's especially frustrating given how much richer the source material could be. Why not explore Smurfette’s fascinating origins — her creation by Gargamel — in a bold standalone film instead of relegating it to a passing arc in yet another ensemble adventure? And what about Sasette, a character introduced in the animated series, who’s barely acknowledged in modern adaptations? The franchise holds decades of untapped lore, yet the films seem content to rehash worn-out tropes instead of expanding on the stories that matter.
A fading blue glow
Even the animation doesn’t escape the film’s creative laziness. The 2D style is pleasant at a glance, but some scenes, like the opening dance number, reveal repeated or mirrored movements that hint at a rushed production.
Even the audience response said a lot. After the film, I turned to my partner and asked if he had noticed any kids laughing or having fun. The theater had felt unusually quiet. For a movie aimed squarely at children, that kind of stillness is definitely not a sign of awe. And when a film can’t even engage the very audience it was designed for, it’s hard not to see it as just another hollow product from the franchise machine.
Which brings me to one of my biggest questions: who is this actually for? The film throws in modern touches like food arriving through on-demand delivery or characters taking Zoom calls, which I appreciate in theory. But in execution, these references aren’t exactly for kids, and while a few adults in the audience chuckled, they weren’t strong or clever enough to carry any real appeal. At one point, characters even start hurling “Smurf” as a stand-in for curse words in the middle of an argument. It’s jarring, tonally confused, and more likely to alienate kids than entertain them.
But if it’s not for children, is it meant for adults? The film never seems sure. It doesn’t have the emotional intelligence or thematic clarity that recent animated titles like “Elio” or “Inside Out 2” manage, films that strike a rare balance between childlike wonder and grown-up depth. “Smurfs,” by contrast, just feels stuck, trying to be everything for everyone and ending up empty for anyone.
Somewhere along the way, someone looked at this and said, “Yeah, that’ll do.” That’s the most unbelievable part of the whole film. — WALPHS.com